Billie Eilish first guest on Miss Me? with Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver’s twice weekly transatlantic catchups in Miss Me? sees global pop phenomenon Billie Eilish as first guest.

For this week’s special edition of Monday’s Listen B*tch!, Billie answers listener questions around the theme of Ghosts.

She talks to Lily and Miquita about being ‘ghosted’, how she struggled to maintain friendships after finding fame and how Lily’s song Smile inspired Billie to make new friends.

On being ghosted, Billie says: “I’ve been ghosted for sure; I had a crazy ghosting happen actually this December. It was insane. It’s probably the craziest one that’s ever happened to me. I was like, did you die? Did you literally die?

“It was somebody that I’d also known for years and had a plan, the day of, making a plan, this is my address, be there at 3pm – never heard from him again. Ever. I couldn’t believe it. What a fucking little pathetic man. What a tiny little man.”

She says it was unbelievable because it’s someone she’s known for years and to this day, he’s never texted again.

When Billie became famous, she lost friends except her best friend Zoe, who she’s known since they were two years old. That was hard for her.

“I think I felt resentful that I didn’t feel… Like I don’t know I was so young,” she says. “Everything I felt then I don’t think I would even stand by. You know, literally the world was being handed to me on a silver platter like, ‘would you like this?’… And so honestly all of my friends were my employees, which I felt was fine and I was like, what do you mean, I have friends, I have so many friends.”

It was on her 20th birthday she looked around the room and it was only people she employed and they were all much older than her. Then, one of her best friends who worked with her quit out of the blue and didn’t talk to her.

“And that made me realise like ‘oh wait, this is a job and these aren’t really people that are… like if they left me they would never see me again. And I had this realisation that oh no, I might be actually alone for real,” she says.

This made her become distant from people she worked with and have a weird relationship to being friendly with them because she gets freaked out by loss and has a lot of abandonment problems.

“Also, I would get into relationships and that would be my one friend… even if it was a relationship that I didn’t necessarily really want after a second, I’d be like well, that’s all I have. And then I worked really hard on friendship and making friends, and making new friends, and rekindling old friendships and about exactly a year ago, I reconnected with a bunch of old friends and now, I have so many friends.”

Continuing, Billie says: “I have a crew now! I could literally cry about it. It’s been the greatest thing that’s happened to me. I was at Coachella almost two months ago and we went to this party … And we get in the car and my friends were like what’s going on are you ok? And I was like totally fine… And I burst into tears.

“They said what’s going on and I was like guys, I have friends and I just love you guys so much and it’s been so long since I’ve had friends. I cried… and it’s literally because I actually have friendship now again.”

She admits that she couldn’t go on without friends and that friendship is the best part of her life.

“And what’s interesting, and it’s funny that it’s you, in ‘Smile’ you have that line “with a little help from my friends, I found the light at the end of the tunnel”. I used to want to cry hearing that line because I didn’t feel that way because I didn’t have friends.

“I remember thinking I want to feel that way. And I want to listen to this song that I relate to in every way and hear that line about friends and be like, my friends got me through it.”

You can hear the whole episode of Miss Me? now, available on BBC Sounds.

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